North's Setting Sun - A shining star grows brighter

The Sun has set on one chapter of our lives; the final chapter of North's physical existence has been written. My beloved has released his body and is now free and wild. No more cancer, no more pain. His evolution now continues on a whole new level and the explorer that he has set out upon an entirely new exciting adventure.

He let go on Saturday, August 11th at 2:34 pm. He was at home as he wanted it, he was peaceful and comfortable and surrounded by me, Zach, Mary Mom and my mom and sis's (Kris and April). I know in my heart he felt he did all he could do and he did. He did everything right and he did it so well, and it was SO MUCH! I also know he did all he needed to do as well, all he was meant to do. He did his life and his awakening and even his death so beautifully and poetically, as only he could; with strength, tenacity, courage, gratitude, style, grace and SO MUCH LOVE. This photo is of he and I with Barbara Marx Hubbard, the teacher of conscious evolution, with the map North and his biz partner Janet and I helped Barbara create. Check out the title!! (Pics get larger when you click on them.) Thank you Barbara for your call and your words to North yesterday. I know he heard you and was comforted and inspired. And also thanks to Marianne for your call and conversation with him in the hospital before he came home. The two of you meant so very much to him, and my heart is full with your love.)
His transition was quiet and gentle and sweet. I feel he made it as easy on all of us as possible. Such was and is his way, always... loving and caring for others so deeply that all who met and knew him could feel it. What a blessings, what a man, what a miracle. God Bless you sweetheart.

And I miss him so much my intake of breath feels as difficult as his were in his last several days. Then I feel his love in me and the breath comes. How can I survive? How can I not? There are two things he gave me, things immeasurable and priceless. Marianne helped me see one it this morning on the phone. The greatest gift my husband gave to me is... me; an awareness and connection to the strength I possess; strength and soul power to move through ANYTHING with love and courage. No thing can ever take that away from me. And he gave me, along with Susan, a part of his son, Zach; who turned out to be my greatest partner and companion on this part of the journey. I find unspeakable comfort in knowing, through your words of love and promise Zach, that we will always be together, you and I. We will always have each other and my heart is full with gratitude and excitement for what is to come.

Sweet North. I love you. I feel you. I miss you. I know you are here. I know you're body is gone. I can hardly believe it. I does not feel real... and yet... your side of the bed is empty. All the medical equipment is gone. Our home quietly buzzes with close family and friends. And now it is a new day. And in this moment Baba bird (the dove) fly's to and perches on the sign you gave me for my birthday that says "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" (Our wedding song), and as he begins to coo and sing his song we enjoyed together so much, I feel you deeper inside than ever.

And since it is our destiny to continue writing together, I trust the paragraph my heart led me to on your journal is just the thing you want to say to everyone who reads this and loves you.

So here are North's words as he describes the night of the fund-raiser with Marianne Williamson. Feel his light and love and laughter as you read it. I do.

Marianne started the evening with a prayer and then saying, “This is a heart breaking night and this is a Beautiful night, it does not get any better than this or worse than this, this is Life!” Then over the next 45 minutes she took my heart and soul and placed me before my friends to be bathed in the purity of Love, authentic expressions of encouragement and deep healing that can only come from a connection to the ONE. She took the spirit of El Duende and had us all dancing with the incomprehensible merger of Light and Shadow. She reminded me that I once said to her, “I’ll die if I don’t get real.” To that she added, “One of the ways to get real is to face death..” Then she boldly reminded us, “With our mortal minds and none of us can know what time North’s train depart and that concern is really irrelevant as eventually everyone takes a train out of here.” I realized in that moment, its really a question of what do I do with the time that I have been given. Do I worry about not doing enough or do I simply Love the life I have been given? With the Love in the room, the answer was clear, drop the old habits and greet a new day.

The new day is now and Zach and I carry the light of this man in our hearts, as so many others do as well. Shine on in us love, we are honored. We are blessed. Thank you my beloved, my twin soul, my heart light, my North Star. I will see you on a future train.
Stef

Namaste'