Just sitting here on Valentines Day morning listening to a mix of songs my sweet husband put together for me. Currently "Your The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me" by Gladys Night and the Pips is playing. We say that to each other quite often and it is SO true! Oh, and now... "A Long and Winding Road" by the Beatles. This one always makes me cry. But all 5 plus years since we met as roommates, and especially this last one, has been quite a road indeed.
More great songs tell our love story so perfectly. "You Make Me So Very Happy" - Blood, Sweat and Tears, "Your The Inspiration" - Chicago, "If Not For You" - Bob Dylan, "Wonderful Tonight" - Eric Clapton, "Woman' - John Lennon, "How Sweet it is to be Loved by You" - Marvin Gaye, "You Are The Sunshine of My Life" - Stevie Wonder, and our wedding dance song, "Have I Told You Lately" by Van Morrison. What a dream come true for me to have a love in my life like this; to be MARRIED to a man who gives his romantic creative nature free reign to put together a compilation of love songs for me! Wow, thank you GOD! So much to be grateful for. It helps to realize this. Gratitude balances grief. Odd, but that is how life is... so very "Both/And."





North Blog followers and friends have been asking about the latest scan results. As it is with every time we've gone in to hear about what these tests tell us, we hope for the best and try to breathe when what we hear frightens us. Such was the case this last time. The trio chemo mix that was a higher dose and really knocked him flat for nearly three weeks... it didn't "work." The cancer has grown in all the areas we knew it was – lymph nodes, lung, liver and bone, and spread some on his back into his femur. The latter location is causing him great pain of late. Its been hard. And now we are in the second frustrating week of waiting to hear if the insurance will cover the experimental drugs his Dr. is suggesting.

What else to say? We are doing the best we can. Sometimes I feel so sad and frustrated because I feel powerless to ease his physical pain or change the course of this disease. Those feelings occasionally seep into seething anger of which I know not what to do with, other than run down the beach till my lungs burn and my legs tremble.

So we've been focused on making changes in one area we have some control over; an area I happen to have professional experience in! ORGANIZING! I see it consistantly with clients; the joyous freedom and sense of empowerment that gaining control over ones environment can make. North dreamed of a sacred space to be creative in and I wanted to help make that happen. So we dove headfirst into his office with its numerous boxes of paper and files. He did so great! He purged and I labled and we just couldn't stop! We even rearranged his furniture (with Craig's help - LOVE YOU Craigers!) Now he LOVES going in there and has been gushing gratitude, adnirationa nd loads of love on me for days! Yeah! So once my office space readjusts to my new/used beautiful desk, we are launching our E-Bay store with order and clarity and anticipation for great success!

Of course we still hold on to hope that great success and more miracles are in store for us along the lines of North's physical body. Please join us in praying for ease of pain , insurance apporoval and strong intuition about alternative healing paths to explore. And amid all of that, we hold our hearts open for so many others whom we have met and heard of who are in similar situations of uncertainty and fear. May we ALL keep our hearts open to the blessings and miracles already present in our lives - and most especially for the miracle of our loving realtionships; our mates and friends and families.

Happy Valentines Day.
WITH LOVE,
Stef McKinnon