North's Status Friday 4/7

Hi All,

I will start trying to leave a quick update to let you know how your prayers and thoughts are affecting me. I do feel them. Its a matter of perception. For example, its hard for me think on the scale of swimming in the National Master meet last summer as I slowly walk down the hall, today. I know that I will swim and do so much more in the future. Yet, the physical world has all the negative signals that could be interpreted as "oh ain't it awful". Well, I am here to tell you that only the degree that any of us buy into that illusion is the degree that we miss the miracles in our lives. Its not about negative thinking either. My body really does hurt and it is ok to say so. The error is in not putting effort towards the truth of potential of positive optimism. It could be so easy to slip into the difficulty of this story. But that would be no fun. Your prayers motivate me to find the positive. They are my affirmation. They are Gabriel's Horn, they are the fireworks' last spark of light. They are the the prize in the cracker jack box, the Pink Flamingo in the yard, the belly laugh of a three year old blowing a dandilion; two butterflies dancing on a summer breeze, a fluffy cloud sailing under a rainbow gate to unknown shores. Thank you so much for how you think and pray for my recovery.

I am very glad to just be here and it seems my chances of staying are improving. The pathology report showed that the removal of the eye was the right decision. The tumor had taken hold there. A few scattered cells remain, but chemo and radiation will vanquish their ability to reclaim a foothold. We are awaiting the final pathology on the eye to be totally able to say this first stage was a complete success. I know it is already.

Vitals:
I've stabilized at 160 lbs. I dropped about another 3-4 when I came home, but thanks to Mom and Leslie W. and others, I'm getting feed well. My weight before the operation was about 180 in January and 175 when we went in.

I'm able to walk about a city block with 3-4 stops to rest- so my blood pressure and pulse are on the mend

I've stopped coughing pleme as much

I'm sleeping 3-4 hours at night, getting up and sleeping another 3-4. So I am starting to balance sleep time

Still very tired during the day, But taking everything slow

Physical Appearance:
Besides the worse haircut, EVER, I am starting to look a little more normal. Considering I had 67 metal staples that held toghther an incision that wrapped from my lower left neck, along my right throat, to behind my ear, across the top of my heas and down behind the left ear, (measuring 64 inches) I am no longer wearing bandages. The swelling is dramatically less on my left side. My right side is still about 2x normal, but that is due to the flap in my right sinus/palett area; the eye flap and the neck swelling. Overall, I am getting used to feeling the lack of and same time excessive sensations on my right side. Too much swelling and the loss of the eye. Its a weird combination. But to sooth it all, my cousin Dan got me the most wonderful eyepatches. Totally stylish. I will get pictures up sometime this weekend.

Below Neck:
The greatest pain is in my right shoulder. Its a combination of laying open on that side for such a long surgery and the fact that they had to manipulate the primary nerve that runs from the neck to the shoulder. I look forward to getting with Billie D and Leigh A. to work this out. Started doing stretching and motion work this morning. Very sore now.

The stomach inceision is about 10 inches long. Its healing up well. The only issue is that my belly button is now about 2 inches to the right off center. This can be repaired. (It will reamain an inney ... no choice about a belley button face lift)

I continue to have difficulty with energy when I talk and eat. Takes a lot of effort, because I am learning to swallow all over again. But I am brushing my teeth and everyday I get a little more range of motion with my tongue and jaw.


Within:
The more I focus on just reconnecting with my body, the more I feel spirit awaken. The more I focus on pain, the more I feel pain, fear and anxiety and frustration. I realized this morning as I started stretching, that this is why so many yogi masters ascert yoga. Connecting with the body is essential for a complets path. I look forward to Yoga becoming more of my daily routine.

This is short and factual, but I just wanted to keep you up to date. I will try and draft a more inward reflection on the Journal page by tomorrow.

With Much Love and Light,

North